Shout out to CS Lewis:
When you can’t understand why or what or how anymore–take HEART! Here’s what’s really happening…
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of–throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
Whether you view God as an amorphous entity, a figment of imagination, or as a divine, merciful, and very real parent in the Heavens…may we each ponder this passage and find strength and renewal in its message. We can be better than we ever imagined, once we dare!