Funny thing, promising myself I’ll write each and every day for 365 days. I knew it was “do-able” because if I don’t feel there’s a narrative that particular day, I can always share a memory. That’s easy enough, right?
Then there’s the topic–Connection! Taking two separate entities and pulling them together with a hinge. A Heart Hinge. Sounds like a pleasant way to spend a year! Ironically, I overlooked the fact that, in order to write my thoughts, I have to get away from the crowd. Separate myself from conversation. Detach!
Now I’m in a quandary that requires inner reconciliation. I want to touch people’s lives and help all of us reflect on how we can extend ourselves a little bit more, not only “be there” with our quality time, but to truly absorb life’s goodness. While doing so, I have to excuse myself from human interaction so I can ponder and write.
For this reason, today’s “Featured Image” is me. Myself, a child, in all the vulnerability of innocence and youth. My gaze is ponderous. Am I wondering what I’ll be when I grow up? Or WHO I’ll be? Or maybe I’m just wondering how I’m going to get down from that cliff!
So, Day Ten’s Heart Hinge is re-Connecting with myself.
As a teenager, I was once put in a position to conduct monthly planning meetings with other girls my age. I promised myself I would always bring a treat to these meetings, and one day as the scheduled time approached, I realized I wasn’t going to be able to keep my promise. Nobody else asked for refreshments, but it was my goal and I was going to stick to it. So I belatedly jumped into our family’s little Chevy Luv pickup (yeahhhh there were trucks called Luvs in those days…) and by the time I returned from the store, treats in hand, all the girls at the meeting were giving me the Silent Treatment. They’d been punctual, and I had not. It didn’t take me long to realize they would have much preferred to be in and out of that meeting over having refreshments. Beyond that, I saw an even bigger picture: keeping my promise to myself was self-serving. It made me feel better, even though it ticked everyone else off.
Are you seeing the parallel here? So Sunday evening, when I desperately wanted to find a quiet corner with my Surface Pro 3 and blog away, my husband insisted I sit next to him to watch the (be still my heart) Presidential Debate. For those who know I can’t even view American Idol without wringing my hands, this was pure anguish. I decided to start counting how many times I heard the term “that’s why I–” just so I could keep my mind clear. Clearly, my dear hubby wanted to connect with me. And I wanted to run from the room so I could write about Connection.
Face to face with my 365-day blogging goal, I’m reminded of the refreshments-at-the-meeting story. Sticking doggedly to my goal will help me feel better. But weakening, rather than strengthening my relationships as I do so, is not WHO I want to be.
I just felt like posting this photo of little ole me might help me remember that.